I Found Mrs. Quarles and It Wasn’t What I Expected (Part 5 of ‘Beyond the Book’ series)

A few years ago I wrote my first book, The Elephant in the Room – How to Overcome the Psychological Barriers to Weight Loss Success. It’s about the mental blocks to weight loss. While it is available in print on Amazon I would like to GIFT my book to you for free in pdf form.
If you would like to read it, click HERE.

Instead of telling you about what is in the book. I’d like to share the story BEHIND THE BOOK with you here in my blog.

This is PART 5 of The Story Behind The Elephant in the Room, I Found Mrs. Quarles, It Wasn’t What I Expected


Let’s dive right in shall we? I want to tell you about what happened when I found Mrs. Quarles… (this part makes me ‘laugh-cry’)

So, 20 years later I DID write that book and I did dedicate it to Mrs. Quarles, just like I always told myself I would.

I searched for Mrs. Quarles many times once the internet did exist, but never found her. Then, a year after I published the book I decided to search on facebook once again and I found her. I was beyond elated. I couldn’t wait to send her a copy of my book so she could see that it was dedicated to her. I couldn’t wait to tell her how much her kindness meant to me. I couldn’t wait to connect with her again and tell her how she impacted my life. I had finally found this woman and I couldn’t have been more elated.

After she approved my friend request I crafted a lovely message to remind her who I was. I told her I had dedicated my first book to her and asked if I could send her a copy.

She replied a few weeks later.

She did not provide an address so that I could send her a copy of my book. She said that it was so kind of me to dedicate my book to her and she also told me that….


Now, you have two choices right now in this moment. You can choose to be devastated, angry, sad and cry. Or, you can laugh your ass off at the sheer shitiness of this information…and also cry. I chose the latter.

I laughed hard. So, so, so hard. I cried while I laughed. So, so, so hard.

I had harbored this ideal in my head for 20 years to dedicate this book to a woman who noticed me, who cared about me, who SAW me; a woman who traveled 9 states every year to just check on me. A woman who changed my life. I had searched for her for years wanting to thank her and tell her that I had dedicated my very first book to her and… SHE HAD FORGOTTEN ME.

You can’t make this shit up my friend. You really can’t.

I am not angered by this at all. I do feel slightly pathetic though. But the facts are these: She retired over 20 years ago after a lifetime of teaching thousands of students, how can she recall us all? She might have checked on 3 dozen kids each time she came back to visit my high school and told them the same things, I may never know; I do not know the state of her mental health right now, I mean, memory issues affect many people as they age; but, what DOES matters is THIS…

The fact that she has forgotten me DOES NOT diminish the amazing impact she had on my life. I still have her influence. I still have those feelings she gave me when she cared enough to ask if I was ok. None of these amazing things have been taken away from me.

So, my dreams of being reunited with her on facebook and chatting often and, one day, meeting up for coffee when we’re in the same city and hugging her, well, they’re all out the window.

And, I’m left with a book dedication that will make me laugh for the rest of my life. 

I’ll see you in Part 6 for my final post in the ‘Beyond the Book’ series and to tell you how I honestly feel about my book.


You can get my book in print on Amazon or for free in pdf form HERE.

Want to catch up on the whole ‘Beyond the Book’ series? Here are the links:

Part 1 – Why I Wrote My Book

Part 2 – When I Wrote My Book

Part 3 – How the Divine (and Sara) Intervened

Part 4 – Mrs. Quarles, the Teacher I Dedicated My Book To

Part 5 – I Found Mrs. Quarles and It Wasn’t What I Expected

Part 6 – How I Really Feel About My Book

yes i'm ready!